In order to pass on spiritual values to a child, it is first of all necessary that the parents themselves adhere to them. If parents themselves do not adhere to the values taught to children, do they have the right to teach them?
The fact is that children do not have an innate understanding of moral values. Psychologists conducted an interesting study: preschool children were offered a choice – to meet a friend with whom they had agreed on this in advance, or to go to the movies. All children participating in the experiment chose a movie. The fact that a friend can be offended is still incomprehensible for children of this age, since until the age of 10-12 they do not have the ability to enter into the position of other people, to perceive their feelings as their own. They learn this ability primarily from their parents.
Therefore, adults who want to convey to children their ideas about spirituality, moral values, the laws of communication with other people, must understand that the main thing here is a personal example. Maxim Maksimov in his book "Not only love" notes:
“The child builds his personality on his own, using the personality of a person close to him as a frame, and his actions as cement.”
However, just following some spiritual values in order to pass them on to children is not enough. You also need to be a teacher for your own child. It is the Teacher with a capital letter. Unfortunately, this concept has been devalued in our country by the “efforts” of the secondary school, and in the schools themselves there are very few Teachers, but there are many teachers. And the difference between these two concepts is very big.
It is very important that parents be teachers for their children, and not just educators or teachers. Let's try to explain how they differ and what is the essence of these concepts.
- The task of the educator is to prepare the child for life among people, to “make” him socially acceptable.
- The task of the teacher is to convey knowledge to the child.
- The task of the Teacher may also include the tasks facing the teacher and educator, but his main task is to instill in the child spiritual values, to awaken in the child the ability and desire to learn.
The outstanding German educator and thinker Adolf Diesterweg wrote:
"A bad teacher teaches the truth, a good teacher teaches to find it."
Another difference between the Teacher and the educator and teacher (in this case, the terms “educator” and “teacher” do not mean representatives of these professions) is that he has an unconditional love for the child. Renowned psychiatrist and writer Ross Campbell, bestselling author of How to Really Love Children, writes:
"In order for a child to perceive what we have, he must identify himself with his parents so that their life values become his life values. If he does not feel the sincere and deep love of his parents, if they do not accept him in their hearts as he is – with all the advantages and disadvantages, the child experiences serious difficulties in trying to identify himself with his parents and their values."
It should be noted the importance in the process of educating the connection of such phenomena as spirituality and emotionality. The child perceives reality very emotionally. Therefore, if his spiritual experience is emotionally pleasing, it will be more likely to be fixed in the mind of the child. On the contrary, if such an experience is negative, for example, they try to force a child to memorize something from the Bible against his will, then most likely this will lead to the fact that he will identify spirituality with something unpleasant. Ross Campbell notes:
"Parents who want to help a child spiritually should take care of his emotional state. Precisely because the child remembers feelings more easily than facts, pleasant emotional memories should accumulate in his memory, on which facts can already be strung, especially facts of a spiritual content."
We also recommend: