How to improve your ability to communicate with people

Business photo created by yanalya – www.freepik.com

A person can be a first-class specialist, but if he does not know how to negotiate with clients, understand their motives and behavior, or make connections, then no one will know about his abilities. In the era of automation and artificial intelligence, communication skills are of particular value. We have put together 7 easy ways to quickly improve your ability to communicate with people. Most of them do not require exhausting training – you can apply them immediately after reading the article.

 

1. Hide your smartphone

In one study, scientists studied how smartphones affect people's communication. They found that 62% of students use their phone during an offline conversation: chatting in instant messengers, watching social media feeds or checking notifications.

The brain cannot work on two tasks at the same time. As soon as a person glances at the screen during a conversation, he already drops out of communication.

Turn off the sound on your phone and hide it at the start of a meeting. By doing this, you signal to the interlocutor that you give him all your attention and respect his time. And even if a friend or colleague calls you, say that you will dial him later.

 

2. Maintain eye contact

Eye contact is written deep in our genes. So two-day-old newborns prefer to look at faces, and not at toys or the ceiling. And the brain of 4-month-old babies works more actively if the child looks into someone's eyes.

When the interlocutor avoids eye contact, people think that he is insincere and less conscious. Conversely, we believe more in the one who looks into the eyes.

But don't overdo it. People consider too long a glance a sign of aggressiveness and even psychopathy. Scientists have determined that you need to look into the eyes for no more than three seconds.

And trust is also affected by the degree of pupil dilation – the wider they are, the more closeness you feel with the interlocutor. You are not able to control the eye muscles consciously. But you can make an appointment in a darkened room, and then the pupils will expand automatically.

How to improve your ability to communicate with people

Business photo created by yanalya – www.freepik.com

 

3. Express gratitude

A simple "Thank you" will increase the chances that the person will comply with your request and improve trust.

In one study, researchers divided volunteers into two groups:

  • The first was simply asked to collect donations.
  • Participants in the second group were thanked for their efforts before being given a fundraising task.

The second group made 50% more calls than the first group to encourage people to donate.

By expressing gratitude, you show the interlocutor that you noticed his actions and appreciated them. It is very important for a person, as a social being, to see the approval of other people, and therefore he will try to win your appreciation again.

 

4. Do not interrupt the interlocutor

By interrupting your partner, you show that you are not interested in what he says. If you want to fully understand what he wants to say, listen to him. Even if it seems that you 100% know the end of his phrase. People mistakenly believe that by interrupting a person or finishing after him, they thus show their understanding of the situation.

But the interlocutor will perceive it differently. He will conclude that you are not interested in listening to him – after all, you already know everything. Show real interest and listen to it to the end. Pause to consider what he said before speaking back.

 

5. Use non-verbal language

We've already talked about eye contact. But there are also gestures and posture. The classic formula says that human communication is two-thirds non-verbal cues and only one-third words. If the first disagree with the second, a normal conversation will not work.

Fortunately, in order to call the location of the interlocutor, you need not so much:

  • relaxed posture
  • uncrossed arms
  • eye contact
  • smile

Of course, you can try more subtle body language settings, such as tilting your head towards the interlocutor or illustrative gestures. But don't overload your brain with too many tasks. This will inevitably affect your behavior and the person will suspect insincerity.

How to improve your ability to communicate with people

Business photo created by yanalya – www.freepik.com

 

6. Avoid Assumptions and Guessing

People tend to make assumptions if they lack information. But this is an unproductive path that leads to misunderstandings and disagreements. When we make guesses, we usually transfer our experience to the known circumstances of another person. Of course, the conclusions built on this foundation will be wrong.

Instead of indulging in fruitless mind reading, practice the following active listening skills:

  • Ask clarifying questions. This way you will not only get more information, but also show that you are really interested in what the person is saying.
  • Paraphrase the speaker's speech. This will automatically force you to digest what you heard and look at the situation from a slightly different angle. Well, if you misunderstood something, a person can easily notice it and correct the mistake.
  • Summarize. When the person has finished their monologue, briefly summarize what they said and ask, "Did I get it right?"

Communication means the transfer of information between two or more people. Guessing and guessing is a conversation with oneself.

 

7. Be optimistic

Ivan does not have time to hand over his project by the deadline. The boss calls him every day at the end of the working day, and Ivan goes home in a bad mood. And then he meets his friend Carl. They go to the nearest cafe, and on the way Karl consoles our hero with these words: “Well, you understand that you won’t be in time by tomorrow evening. Humble yourself. Nothing will help you. Why are you even doing this?" A week later, Ivan pretended not to notice Karl in the subway.

People are drawn to optimists. They are considered friendly, nonjudgmental and understanding. Only a positive person can inspire others and lead not out of compulsion, but for an idea.

Optimism is determined by genes only by 25%, and everything else depends on you:

  • Think optimistic. Psychologists call this tactic “positive reframing.” Instead of thinking, “What a bad day this was,” find something good in it. Develop this habit and apply it to any situation.
  • Find optimistic friends. Scientists have proven that positive emotions can be contagious.
  • Keep a gratitude journal. Research shows that this practice helps develop optimism.

And remember: it’s better to say the banal “Everything will be fine” than not to say anything.

 

Summary

Follow these rules to make your communication more effective:

  1. Do not look at your smartphone during a call.
  2. Look into the eyes of the interlocutor for three seconds.
  3. If appropriate, express gratitude.
  4. Listen to the interlocutor to the end.
  5. Don't make empty guesses. Ask again if something is not clear.
  6. Control what your body says.
  7. Train your optimism.

These rules will not help you complete all your negotiations with success. But they will make communication with you a little more pleasant.

Source: 4brain.ru