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Guilt is, for the time being, a good and right feeling. An adult should feel remorse when he does things that hurt other people. However, many people manipulate us through guilt. In addition, prolonged “sprinkling of ashes on the head” is fraught with psychosomatic disorders.
If a person does not feel guilty at all, permissiveness instantly grows – everyone knows such people. However, almost any of the hundreds of emotions and feelings, with a long cycle, can make a person crazy. Each emotion, being repeatedly experienced and played in the head, leads to emotional imbalance. Guilt eats away at us from within.
The correct behavior of an adult reasonable person is a short-term experience for his act, a kind of chiding, a clear understanding of what he did wrong and what he was guided by. Then you need to pull yourself together and think about how to fix the situation.
Many people do not even reach the second stage. They play this record over and over again without doing anything else. The consequence of all this is a shattered psyche and a feeling of inferiority.
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Sometimes the feeling of guilt penetrates so deeply into the psyche of a person that he may not even understand what is wrong with him. He characterizes his condition as mental pain. That is why the first point is so important.
1. Identify all the things you feel guilty about
If you dig well, then in every person there is a mass of life situations that have gone into the subconscious or sticking out on the surface, for which he feels guilty. Find them all. Understand why and for what you feel guilty, describe your emotions. The best way in this case is to be alone with yourself and carefully analyze your past. It is possible that there are a good dozen people and situations in front of which we experience this feeling. No alcohol during the analysis, be honest with yourself to the end.
2. Identify the people who are manipulating your guilt
In this way, perhaps you will understand that in front of half the people you should not feel guilty. Such situations are usually far-fetched. Your wrongdoing may not have been as bad as some people want to speculate on it.
3. Talk to people in front of whom you feel this way.
Of course, you can just throw it out of your head and forget, but assuming that you are a worthy person, this is not your way out (at this stage). Ask for forgiveness, often this is enough. You will draw conclusions later, but now it is important to admit that you were wrong. This stage is the most difficult, but the reward can be huge. The person who has forgiven you will release the very feeling of guilt to you, it will be replaced by relief, a light and pleasant feeling. And speaking out loud will not allow you to hide this guilt even deeper. And remember, it's always the strong who apologize.
4. Forgive yourself
By forgiving yourself, you not only relieve yourself of a huge burden, but also promise to draw conclusions.
5. Realize that you have already done everything you could.
You apologized to people, realized your emotions, drew conclusions. At the moment there is nothing more you can do. This is an important stage, as if a pass between the past and the future.
6. Do good deeds
When guilt eats us from all sides, we begin to feel like a bad person. If you do good things, you will notice that you cannot be bad. You do not have to spend huge amounts of money, sometimes a couple of pleasant words and deeds are enough. Doing good deeds is nice, you just have to start. Selfishness is not attractive.
7. Practice meditation
This is a great practice that will normalize your emotional background. After the strongest stresses caused by guilt, you need to clean yourself up. Meditation not only calms, it allows you to take a sober look at your life and your internal conflicts.
8. Use affirmations
Simple and clear affirmations will help you first believe, and then become a person who, even if he makes mistakes, is a worthy representative of the human race.
9. Set the standards by which you will judge yourself.
One suggestion that you are a good person is not enough. You must know what is unacceptable behavior and action for you and judge yourself on the basis of these criteria, defined by you, and not by others.
10. Boost your emotional intelligence
A person can experience hundreds of emotions, don't get hung up on a couple of dozen. The problem with many people is that if they experience a bad emotion, they experience it to the fullest, without any different undertones. You either feel guilty or you are happy. When your emotional intelligence is trained, you can easily step out of guilt like steps. First, a feeling of guilt, then forgiveness, slight sadness, thoughtfulness, and eventually come to relief and normalcy. Jumping over a wall out of guilt from a swoop is almost impossible. Do everything gradually.
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The vast majority of cases for which we can feel guilty happen when we do not control our emotions. Control your anger, recognize its origin in the form of irritability and anger in time. The point is not only to constantly do bad things and then work with guilt, the point is to minimize situations when you act unworthily.
Source: 4brain.ru
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