How to get rid of bad habits?
Each person has a certain set of unique characteristics: qualities, abilities, talents, aspirations, interests, etc. These characteristics include his habits – ways of behavior brought to automaticity, which often become his needs. These habits can be both good and bad, both useful and harmful. Good and healthy habits are the cause of a good mood, achieving goals, improving the quality of life. Bad and harmful, on the contrary, cause suffering, lead to depression and a feeling of powerlessness and other conditions that are extremely negative for a person, up to a deterioration in health. But the most important feature of bad habits is that they "take root" so deep into the very being of a person that they become "quite natural" and it is very, very difficult to get rid of them. However, any bad habit is not a final “diagnosis” and it can be eradicated. Today we will talk about how to do it.
The first thing to be said is the phenomenon of habit itself. In psychology, this phenomenon is defined as an automated and effortless action learned by a person. That is, by and large, a habit is something that we already do unconsciously.
The formation of a habit occurs according to a fairly simple principle: a person performs an action, and at first he has to keep the entire process of its implementation under strict control, paying attention to all the components. But as you repeat, it becomes easier to perform this action, and as a result, all the necessary manipulations occur as if by themselves. The result is that a person begins to do something already familiar, completely without asking the question of why he is doing this and is it necessary at all? This is called automatism. And that is precisely the essence of habit.
The motives for doing habitual actions are often deep inside the human mind. And if we consider this issue from the point of view of efficiency, then we can safely say that the habit, in its essence, only plays into the hands of a person, because it saves time and energy, which, thanks to it, no longer need to be spent on thinking and controlling the action. However, when the question concerns a bad habit, we will spend much more time and effort on getting rid of it. And many do not even imagine how it can be done. The following recommendations are given specifically to correct this state of affairs and help anyone who wants to get rid of his "habitual suffering".
Cause
As we have already found out, a habit is an automatism. And this automatism is only a consequence of a reason hiding somewhere deep. That is why, in order to eradicate any bad habit, it is necessary, first of all, to clearly determine its cause. Otherwise, the habit will not only not disappear, but may even worsen.
Mental states lie in the formation of any habits. For example, due to stress, people begin to bite their nails, overeat, bite their lips and foreign objects, and, of course, smoke (remember that we are considering the issue from the point of view of psychology, not medicine).
Similarly, people who are unsure of their appearance begin to constantly fix their hair, makeup, clothes, etc. To avoid all this, or rather, get rid of it (after all, we have bad habits), you need to find the root cause of all these misfortunes. And in order to find the reason, you need to look at yourself from the outside, that is, “turn on” an outside observer.
If every time you can’t wait for the bus at the bus stop to leave for work, you light a cigarette, then the reason is obvious: you are worried about having to walk, and in general you are tired, and at home your wife will warm you with a rolling pin, suspecting you infidelity with the beauty from the office, etc. All this, of course, is exaggerated, but the point should be clear: the first step towards getting rid of a bad habit is to identify the cause.
Positive emotions
Any, even the most nasty habit has such a strong impact on a person due to the fact that it delivers positive emotions to its “owner”. Otherwise, the action performed over and over again would not become a habit. Smoking can be cited as an example again: you were late home, and your wife hit you with a rolling pin in a causal place for a betrayal that you did not commit (even if you would like to). You urgently need to “let off steam” and you go out into the entrance to smoke the whole thing. With trembling hands, standing on shaking legs (you can’t sit still), you light up a cigarette and here it is: a puff, another, a third, your legs stop shaking, your eyes dry out, the heroic silushka is in your hands again, and in general everything goes according to plan. This is the act of habit.
Thus, we come to the understanding that the basis of our dependence in the overwhelming majority of cases is the receipt of positive emotions. And here it is important to realize whether your habit really bothers you so much? If it does not cause much harm (we are not talking about smoking), then perhaps you should not get rid of it. But if the harm from it is much greater than the power of pleasant emotions (we are talking about smoking), then this habit should definitely be “tied up”. And just understanding this is an essential step towards the cherished goal.
Decision-making
This step is perhaps the most important. To get rid of a bad habit, you need to make a firm decision to do it. Moreover, the decision should not be anyhow, but firm, unshakable, “iron”, which no “rolling pin” will break. This is where all your will power will come into play.
But, of course, we are not always able to resist the temptation to return to our beloved habit again. And in the event that the main reason for our desire to get rid of it does not work, we can create several points of no return for ourselves. Think, for example, that if you start smoking again, no matter what you do, you will always miss your bus, and there will always be something waiting for you at home that makes you feel bad. Or another good way is a simple argument. Make a bet with your wife that if you suddenly smoke, she will do "what she must." This will be a great motivation for you to forget about cigarettes for a long time. You can think of anything.
New habit
The decision has been made, "bridges have been burned", it is impossible to retreat back. But what to do if you just want to puff once? So that the old habit does not prevail over you, you must replace it with a new one, but not harmful, but useful! And this new healthy habit should certainly bring the same positive emotions. If we go back to our sheep, then it turns out that the best new habit is to leave work a little earlier, while sipping on candy cheerfully. Firstly, you will be in time for the bus, secondly, you will stop harming your health, thirdly, your mouth will not taste like tobacco, but, for example, strawberries, and fourthly, instead of a rolling pin, a delicious dinner will be waiting for you at home and satisfied wife.
And one more thing: in order for new actions to replace the old ones, you need to perform them constantly, day after day. In general, psychologists say that it takes exactly 21 days to fully consolidate a new habit.
In conclusion, I would like to briefly say about a few more important nuances that contribute to getting rid of bad habits:
- So that you are not disturbed by the desire to succumb to a bad habit, at first try to avoid creating favorable conditions for it in your life;
- Our environment often contributes to the fact that we forget about the decision. If possible, temporarily protect yourself from associating with people in whose company you can succumb to your old habit;
- Specially created reminders will help you remember the decision you made: a sticker on your desktop, an A4 sheet with the inscription of the decision made, fixed on the wall, a motivating screensaver on your phone, an alarm clock, even a cross drawn with a pen on your hand can help you.
And always remind yourself that your habits are part of your personality. And the ability to control your habits is the ability to control yourself. Isn't that one of the most important skills in life?
Source: 4brain.ru
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