There is an opinion that what a child will be depends only on upbringing. However, each child has certain individual qualities that are unique to him. This was proved by the studies of American scientists Stella Chese and Alexander Thomas.
The data in the book explains why some children are easier to raise than others. Research by Chese and Thomas has shown that some children are more prone to complications and are more difficult to parent.
Already in a newborn child, experts identify nine temperaments. These temperaments are the most important characteristics of the child, they are mainly preserved in him in the future. They can be modified to some extent, "improved" or "worse", but in general they remain characteristic of a person all his life. These are the following temperaments (based on the book How to Really Love Children by Ross Campbell):
- Activity level – the degree of hereditary motor activity that determines whether a child is active or passive.
- Rhythm (regularity or irregularity) – the predictability of such functions as hunger, type of nutrition, excretion, rhythm of the sleep-wake cycle.
- Approaching or moving away is a type of baby's natural response to new stimuli such as an unfamiliar food, toy, or person.
- Adaptability is the speed and ease with which a child is able to modify their behavior in response to a change in environment and structure.
- Intensity is the amount of energy used in expressing emotions and moods.
- The threshold of reactivity is the level of intensity of the stimulus required in order for the desired response to manifest itself.
- The quality of mood (positive versus negative mood): cheerful, pleasant, joyful, friendly character in contrast to unpleasant, moody, noisy, unfriendly behavior.
- The ability to be distracted. Characterizes the degree of influence of extraneous interference on the ability to concentrate on one's line of behavior.
- Attention span and persistence – the length of time a child is focused on active activity and the duration of activity in the event of obstacles.
As you may have noticed, the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 7th temperaments play a crucial role in determining how easy or difficult it will be to raise and care for a child. A child with a high degree of reactivity ("birdie"); a child who tends to close up when the situation changes (“snail”); a child with difficulty adapting to new situations (“turtle”); or a child who is usually in a bad mood (“whiner”). These children are extremely prone to stress, especially when parental expectations are high. Unfortunately, it is these children who usually receive less love and affection from adults.
So, newborns, which are more difficult to care for, which are harder to raise, can be called "difficult" children. Such children require much more attention and love from their parents. Parents of “difficult children”, provided that they treat the child kindly and with love, accept him as he is, although they will face certain complications in education, but most likely they will successfully cope with them.
However, the presence of parental love and acceptance of the child as it is is also important for “easy” children. It has been noticed that “easy” children who do not love mothers have more complications in life than “difficult” children who love mothers.
The conclusion from the above is the following – the type of temperament, of course, must be taken into account, but in raising children there is nothing more important than unconditional love and accepting them as they are, regardless of whether they are “difficult” or “easy”.
Simon Soloveichik in one of his articles answered the question “Are people educated”:
“This is one of the most interesting and, it seems, one of the most insoluble questions of mankind.
To answer it, psychologists have long been conducting so-called longitudinal studies – long-term studies of the same people, studying twins for years. They are trying to figure out what is in a person by nature and what is from upbringing. And each time they get ambiguous results that can be interpreted this way and that way...
According to my unscientific observations, in every person there is a level of justice, a level of conscience that does not change throughout his life... It is this level that determines the degree of trust caused by a person..."
Preview photo: pixabay.com
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